Unforgotten And Unforgiven Past Memory
by Rook
Summary: A Hakkai/Yaone and Gonou, Hakkai/Kana fic. Yaone learned a thing or two about Hakkai's past when she helps Hakkai with a camp. Dedicated to the late ShinuTsuki. *Chapter 5 uploaded* I need to know ppl want H/K or H/Y ending.
1. Author's Note

I know, I know this page has nothing about Saiyuki, but please bear with me for a while. 

Firstly, I would like to dedicate this fic completely to someone, whom I never met, but his death had a profound effect on me. This year, 2002 has been hard for me. I lost some people who went away from me (died, or went away) but I never expected this person ShinuTsuki to pass away so sudden. You see, ShinuTsuki was an author of a Saiyuki fic, Darkness: Sleeping on Wings. His fic...well not so many people reviewed his fic, but it was good for someone in his age. I don't usually review romantic fics if it involved Hakkai & OC. (I'm a Hakkai/Yaone fan), but I did, I don't know why, but I did. I honestly enjoyed his fic, except some parts which I found it very disgusting for someone at his age to write. I used harsh words against him. That was the last time I heard/read his fic. Until his sister ShinuHoshi wrote to me to say that his brother was death. 

This was what his sister said about him (it's a short eulogy)... 

_We're fourteen and as you know… We're twins._

_Since we were about seven, he likes to tag along with me even though my friends were cool and his friends were… errm… normal. He never liked it when he was alone and will always look for me. He doesn't fight and doesn't have any bad habits. He's one way too over kind kid. Unlike me. I'm only fourteen but I smoke and drink (occasionally)._

_Whenever he gets into a fight… I'm the one who fights for him… Even with boys. I don't know why but I guess I'm overprotective coz he's a 'wuss'._

_But there was a time when this guy I like said harsh words… He stood up in front of me and punched the guy… (the guy was unconscious for about four hours…) after he punched the guy, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to our house. Everyone's jaws dropped when the guy fell… he was a troublemaker at school and 'always' kick asses… I was sooo surprised when that guy fell… I mouthed 'WOW'… we were suspended for a week._

_He only wears clothes if I say that it'll fit him. He makes me choose his perfume, accessories, clothes, and everything. He always holds my hand whenever in public (people say we look like a cute couple) and he hugs me like a teddy bear when he's scared._

_When we were twelve (adolescence) we decided that we should be apart most of the time, well… I decided… but he agreed. I told him that it wouldn't be nice if he leans on me and if he becomes too dependent on me._

_After a few days of being apart… I slept in my room… then I felt a warm hand around my waist… he was sleeping beside me… I called him and asked him why he was there but he was already asleep. The next day he told me that he didn't like being away from me… after that we always slept together. His stuffs were moved to my room…_   


**_What he likes…_**

_Ummm… He likes eating chocolate, donuts(strawberry filled), ice cream, fried chicken and sushi._

_He drinks… sodas… every other day coffee…_

_He favors… penshoppe and lacoste. And those polo shirts with anime or dragons._

_He wants… to be with me all the time._

_Prefer talking than going anywhere._

_Tries to be cool. (no need really… he was already cool and got about… half of the campus' girls head over heels for him)_

_Anybody who's fun to be with._

_Math… dunno why… he's good at this._

_And.. he loves… well, me._

_ALWAYS HAS POWDER ON HIS FACE AND A HANDKERCHIEF IN HIS HAND._   


**_What he doesn't likes…_**

_Rude people._

_Girls asking him to a date._

_Girls gossiping about me._

_Girls that always wear lipsticks._

_Girls who wear almost nothing._

_Girls that talks too loud._

_Girls who laugh like a whore._

_Girls who acts like queens…_

_And our mommy and papa. They weren't always there for us… since they're separated. Mom has a new bf and he was sooo mad about it. He cries sometimes about how mom gives her attention to this guy and not to us. (I don't cry in front of him… he told me once that if I ever cry he'll kill whoever made me cry.) He hates everyone coz they practically always sees us as the bad ones… (We're the blacksheep of the family.)_   


**_About ff.net…_**

_Well, it started with me writing about poems and then the poems turned into a crappy stories that he made me write… I found ff.net and I signed. He always watched how I get many reviews and mails (most of the times). He was always eager that I open my name and read, read, read some more and read._

_Then I wrote this starting fic for the Hakkai and OC thingy. He gave me some added thoughts and when I got half finished I told him to do it and it turned horrible. Anyway I made him his own mail add and a name on ff.net. At first I told him to be named 'hanenokinzuru'…. I think it means 'wings of the forbidden'… but since he's so dumb he name his self from me… which is_   
_'ShinuTsuki'. He said that even in names we'd still be together. Like we're both dead or death and we're both on the same sky… Kinda weird but it was so romantic… (He's a very romantic person.)_

_So he wrote the first series and he was so sad since he only got twelve reviews… I told him that people are lazy and I know they still read his story… fortunately… it was true._

_Everyday, he tells me that he'll try to be just like me… a great writer of stories and poems…_

_Then I was inspired with his Reika and with Hakkai's relationship and so I wrote the poem which is the plot or base of the story 'Darkness: Sleeping on the wing'… I gave him the title._

_The poem was simple and I wasn't going to post it on ff.net but he insisted that he'll use it for the sequel… Many loved it and mailed him about how perfect the poem was for the story or how the poem and story intertwine…_

_He was soo happy… so he kept writing and writing. Until the 'doomsday' came._

_It was night and he was going to sleep when I told him that I will stay up late becoz of some things. So he slept on the reserve room (which 'was' his)._

_After what I did, I fell asleep… I had a nightmare…_

_We were running and we didn't know what was following us… He held my hand and he was crying… I was trying to comfort him and it wasn't working… until… something was pulling on his feet and the place changed and we were on the beach. And he was sinking into the deep ocean and I was standing there watching everything. I was crying and reaching out my hand for him but I couldn't reach him… I began to move farther and farther… His hand was the only thing I could see…_

_I woke up… I was breathing heavily… I smiled. "It was only a dream." I told myself…_

_So I took a bath got dressed for school and when I noticed he wasn;t still awake and I went to his room and he was still sleeping… I shouted at his ear… directly… He didn't bulged. I shook him and even pinched him… He didn't move. He wasn't breathing…_

_I think you know what happened next._   


_I miss him so much…_   
_Sorry I lied… He died of nightmare. I didn't know if you were serious when you asked…_   


_Anyways, I still see him in my dreams and we often drink coffee and sit down on chairs with a round table on the middle… (like those on coffee shops)_

_But we never talked about how he died in his dreams… we just talked about happy moments and he asks me what was happening and…_

_How much he wanted to hug me again…_

_That's all… I'm about to cry so I'll stop now._

* * *

And the time when I received this e-mail, I wanted to cry. I really don't know what I really was feeling...shocked, sad and guilty. So I'm dedicating this sad romantic (majorly angst, but a small moment of romance) fic (probably the last fic from me) in the memory of ShinuTsuki and also for ShinuHoshi who had lost her twin brother. ShinuHoshi, I hope you're not angry that I posted a major part of your e-mail to me, describing such a wonderful person to me. 

I couldn't write OC X Hakkai because I still think Hakkai could be a cute couple partner for Yaone. 

One and a half month ago, there was an AXN thread that questioned, who would Hakkai go for if Kana was revived again. Yaone or Kana? Most forumers answered that Hakkai would certainly choose Kana. So that's how this fic would end (hint, hint)...Hakkai and alive Kana. Sorry Yaone's fans. But it won't happen until Yaone is really out of Hakkai's life. 

I really hope you would enjoy my story. There are some parts of the story that seemed to follow other author's ideas. Like Ranka, (the name 'Tori' ) and Dishapanai (Hakkai's unexpected past enemy).. 

Finally....please read and review. 

Have a blessed Christmas. I hope you all would enjoy Christmas, at least I don't this year. *Rook bowing her head, exiting *   



	2. Chapter 1

DISCLAMER: I don't own Saiyuki, if I do...I'll make Hakkai & Yaone end up together as lovers in the anime series. 

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Chapter 1

"Do you really mean it?" wondered Yaone, disbelieving what she had just heard from the old man. It sounded so like in the fairy-tale books. 

"Yes, I do," the old man nodded. That kind purple-haired girl was generous enough to share food for him and were willing to house him, the old begger. 

"You can grant me almost anything?" 

The old man responded, "Well, almost anything. Anything that is material and as long as it doesn't involve direct influence on other people's lives, and freewills." 

"Huh?" asked Yaone, confused slightly. 

The old man sighed before explaining, "I can give you anything on earth. You name it, servants, country, palace, gold. But I can't help you bring back or take away lives, or force anyone to change his thinking. It's against the law of Tenkai." 

Yaone bowed her head politely. It was clear that this man was out of his mind. Yet, it was rude to say that you did not understand or believe what the other was saying despite the long explaination. "Would you want tea and biscuits, ojiisan?" she asked, trying to change the topic of discussion. 

"What are your three wishes?" he asked impatiently. Yaone thought very carefully. She decided to play along. "I really don't need anything, ojiisan.. I have everything I could asked for," she smiled. 

The old man snorted. "There's bound to be something that you want. I'll give you a chance to think about it. When you thought about it, call out 'Tori' three times," he said before leaving out through the door. Yaone sighed and sat down at the counter. 

"Kyuuu." A small white silverish dragon suddenly flew in through the window, and landed on the counter, in front of her. 

"Harkuyuu," cried Yaone in delight, as she petted the little dragon's head. Harkuyuu cooed delightfully at the biscuits that the girl offered The owner must be coming over any moment now. Sure enough the bickering noise of two rowdy young men was heard outside, while another distinct gentlemanly voice was heard trying to pacify the other two. 

"Chibi bakasaru, chibi bakasaru, chibi bakasaru," a man's voice repeatedly teased. _Goyjo._

"How many times, I tell you I'm not baka and saru, ero-kappa?" scowled a younger boyish irritated voice. _Goku_. "And I'm not chibi, for goodness sake, you red cockroach!!" 

"Maa, maa," pacify the third patient voice. _Hakkai._ "We're here to ask favour from Yaone, not make trouble here. Goyjo, the last time you and Goku were here, you had wreck almost half of Yaone-san's shop." 

Yaone flinched at the last sentence. She had the misfortune of taking in Goyjo and Goku as workers to reimburse the repairing bill. Goyjo's pervert and flirt nature had reduced almost three quarters of total women customers (the other quarter was made up of old women), while Goku's usual hungry stomach made her lost half of her yearly profit (on feeding her worker, especially Goku). If it was not the fact that the two ex-Sanzo-ikkous were her friends, she would have chased them out. That and the fact that she had fallen in love with Cho Hakkai. Yaone blushed at the thought of the forest-eyed monocled man. 

It was three years ago, she had fallen for her arch-enemy. At first she did not hate him as she should from the first time she met him at the restaurant to their final confrontations. However, after the battle, her admirations and respect towards her enemy counterpart turned unintentionally to love, when it dawned to her how much of efforts Hakkai made to save her from danger. Gyumao was able to be resurrected at the end of the experiment. But something went wrong, Lirin-sama was to be sacrificed to her father. Yaone tried to rescue her, but failed. She was ready to die for her failure if it was not for Hakkai. His quick reflexes saved her from falling into a deep volcano hole. And when the castle was ready to explode, Hakkai insisted on not leaving her behind, carrying her on his back despite her pleas to save himself only. 

"Konicchiwa, Yaone-san," greeted Cho Hakkai as he opened the door. His green eyes swept around the store before he saw the female youkai sitting behind the counter, petting his pet gently while staring at the empty space. 

"Yaone-neechan.." started Goku, but stopped as Hakkai set his finger on his lips and pointed another at Yaone. It seemed that the purple-hair storekeeper cum pharmacist was lost in her thoughts, daydreaming. Her hand moved absently, as if she was stroking Harkuyuu except, Harkuyuu was no longer on the table. Hakkai quietly made his way behind her. 

"Yaone-san!" said Hakkai all of a sudden, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

Yaone jumped and screamed a little. Without warning, she instinctively flung the person that touched her forward. Caught in a surprised, the brown-haired youkai grabbed hold of her arms, causing her to fall also on top of him. 

"Sugoi! Do it again!" cheered Goku, clapping his hands after watching how Yaone unwittingly tumbled her 'opponent' and how Hakkai managed to bring Yaone down with him. 

Goyjo smirked as he saw his best friend lying on the floor, holding the beautiful purple-haired girl in his arms. "Don't mind us, Hakkai," waved Goyjo as he dragged Goku and Harkuyuu out of the room. 

Yaone's purple-pinkish eyes enlarged when she found out who she was wrestling with.. "Hakkai!" she exclaimed. Then a pink blush tinged her cheeks as she also realized she was on top of him, and their faces were inches away from each other. She quickly scrambled to get up. "Anou, are you hurt?" she asked anxiously, lowering down her face, refusing to look at him. 

"No. Sumimasen. Silly me. I shouldn't give you a scare," smiled Hakkai, running his hand through his brown hair. Yaone smiled in return and looked at somewhere else. Both were quiet as they too shy to speak to each other. At the same moment, both of them spoke "Yaone," "Why are you..," Both flushed in embarassment. 

"Why don't you speak first, Yaone-san?" suggested Hakkai sheepishly. 

She nodded. "What brings you here? I thought I sold you almost half of my foodstuffs last week," she asked curiously. 

"Goku visited me yesterday," answered Hakkai apologetically. She nodded understandingly. "But that's not the real reason I'm here," he blurted out. She stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "I like to bring my students to a camping trip, near the hill. The boys are fine with me, but some of the girls' parents insisted that I should bring along a woman chaperon, to take care of the girls. Or else we can't go." 

"You want me to come along?" guessed Yaone slowly. Hakkai nodded. "How many children are there, and how many days is the camp?" "About five girls and five boys and it's only for five days. I'm teaching them how to survive in the jungle," explained the handsome brunette. He looked at her hopefully, "Imagine it as a holiday. Will you come?" 

"I really don't know," she began. She felt very uneasy over Hakkai's invitation. She really like taking care of the store and felt uncomfortable about leaving the store for one day. "Who's going to take of the store when I'm not here?" she questioned. 

Smilling nervously, Hakkai gave out his famous sheepish laugh, "Eh, Goyjo and Goku?" 

There and then Yaone wanted to faint. But she could not because she was never a frail person. "Surely there are other persons with a business mind," she said, hinting slightly that the two especially Goku could close the shop permanently. He shook his head. "Sanzo might come in to see the shop occasionally. Besides, any loss and fixing expenditure would be taken care by Sanzo's Three Aspect Credit Card." 

_What I'm worried is losing my customers to the others, _thought Yaone worriedly. She looked at Hakkai's handsome face, expecting and hoping that she would help. "I really hope you could come, Yaone. You really need to take a break," he said gently. "Since Gyumao's resurrection, you've been working yourself hard till.." he stopped, feeling guilty suddenly that he brought up the incident. He knew that Yaone still blamed herself for Lirin's tragedy . 

Yaone bowed her head and clutched her hands. _ Perhaps that was the reason I like this store. To stop thinking about Lirin-sama, Kougaiji-sama…And maybe that's why I shouldn't go for the camp. I'm afraid that with the girls I will remember Lirin-sama…I don't think I could protect the girls well…_

Gentle but firm hands wrapped both her hands. Yaone looked up and saw Hakkai gazing sympathetically. "It's not your fault, Yaone-san. She wouldn't blame you. And she wants you to enjoy the camp." 

"But what if I fail to take care or protect the girls, like I did with Lirin-sama?" she asked, shuddering a little. 

"We do it together, you and I," he replied firmly. "Besides, there's no more wild youkais around, unless if there's going to be another Minus Wave attack," he continued, twinking his left eye. 

"I supposed I could go," she nodded weakly. 

*TBC* 

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Ignore the grammar. I do.   
Please Read & Review. Thank you. 


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki. Kazuya Minekura does. 

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Chapter 2 

Hakkai sipped his tea and watched his two friends amusedly as they fight for the final char siew pou on the table. Their antics were really very funny, as Goyjo weighed down Goku, twisting his arms behind, making poor Goku unable to reach for the pau. For a strong, yet agile youkai warrior, Goku seemed not to be able to beat Goyjo properly. That showed how much of intelligence Goyjo had against the monkey. Either that or Goku purposely let Goyjo bully him. 

"Hakkai, Hakkai, Goyjo is not letting me eat!!" whined Goku, showing his teary eyes at the monocled man. Normally he would ask help from his keeper, but today his brunette friend might be able to take the red-headed bully out of his case. 

"Goyjo, you shouldn't sit on top of Goku. He might suffer bad indigestion and vomit out all the food," admonished Hakkai, patiently. "I don't want Yaone-san to spend a night here with the mess." 

"Ceh," the half-youkai grunted, removing his butt from Goku's back. 

"Neh, Hakkai, why are you inviting Yaone to stay tonight here?" asked Goku, drinking his soup noisily. Hakkai sighed. How many times he had to explain to the boy. 

"Goku, the camp is starting early tomorrow morning. Yaone-san is staying over tonight so that we can pick the students along and go straight to the camp site." 

"Oooh," mouthed Goku, as he nodded his head. "Can I have some more soup?" he asked cheekily. 

Hakkai shook his head. "No. Please leave some for Yaone-san. I'm going to get Yaone-san now. Come Harkuyuu," called Hakkai, rising up. But before he could reached the door, he heard someone knocking the door. "Yaone-san! I thought I was going to pick you!" exclaimed Hakkai as he saw who it was at the door. 

"Sumimasen, a friend of mine happen to pass by here, so I thought I could get a lift from her," said Yaone bowing her head. 

"Here, let me take these baggage for you," offered Hakkai. 

The other two appeared in the living room. "Yo, Yaone," greeted Goyjo, waving welcome to Yaone. 

Goku walked towards Hakkai and Yaone, sniffing "What's the nice smell, Yaone-neechan? Is it food?" 

Yaone grinned as she showed Goku a basket of food and a big jar of wine. "I thought it was rude for me to bring nothing for visit. We could enjoy it for supper," she suggested. 

Before Goku could cheer, Goyjo grabbed the boy and clamped his mouth. "You've taken food more than me. Don't you think you should spare some of supper food for Hakkai and Yaone only?" he hissed at the brown-haired boy. Goku retaliated by bitting Goyjo's hand which later Goyjo knocked the younger boy's head. Hakkai and Yaone sweatdropped at the sight of two who were now fist-fighting. 

"Let me show you your room," announced Hakkai as he pulled Yaone away from the two childish men. 

"Oi, Hakkai, where are you going to let Yaone stay?" Goyjo shouted.. He followed the brunette man and purple-haired girl, dragging Goku with him. 

"The guestroom, of course," answered Hakkai briefly. 

Goyjo stopped him, blocking the path. "Baka, she's the last person who should enter the room," breathed Goyjo angrily to Hakkai's face. He turned to Yaone and pulled her hand, "Why don't you stay in my room for tonight?" he asked before bringing her to his room. 

"Why, you perverted red kappa, she might find a lot of pornographic magazines in your room!" exclaimed Goku indignantly. Goyjo kicked Goku's butt, sending him sprawling forward. 

"I don't think so, Goyjo. Goku's right. I'm the master of this house and I say that Yaone-san stay in the guestroom," said Hakkai firmly. A smile still plastered in his face.. Goyjo's room was totally out the question. He would rather let Yaone spend a night in his room rather than let Yaone share the bedroom with Goyjo. 

"Goyjo-san, I think I don't mind staying in this room," voiced Yaone meekly. She was confused with the room arrangements. It seemed to make the two men a bit tensed up. 

Grudgingly, Goyjo stepped aside, making the way for them to pass. "I'm preventing Yaone from heartaches," he muttered as he followed them to the guestroom which was at the end of the corridor. 

"What do you think of the room?" asked the grinning brunette, as he put Yaone's things on the floor. "I cleaned everything for you to stay comfortably." 

"Well not everything," grumbled the red-haired half youkai, throwing his cigarrete butt away. 

Yaone's purple-pinkish eyes swept across the room. There were a single bed, a chair, a wall mirror, a table and two windows, and many big pictures hanging on the wall. And there were so many other pictures or posters left in a stack at the corner of the room. 

"Hakkai, where did you get these pictures?" asked Goku as he drew nearer to get a closer look at the pictures. Yaone followed the younger boy and gave a check on the pictures. 

Hakkai laughed slightly, "I drew them, Goku. I'm not really good at it." 

"Not good?" queried Goku incredulously. "These pictures could fetch a big fortune, if you sell it to a picture gallery," he continued, walking around the room, staring at the pictures. "Ano, who is that pretty girl in the picture?" he asked suddenly, pointing to a figure. 

A pained look set slightly on the brunette's face. "That's Kana, someone who's very important to me long time ago," he said in a slow voice. 

Goku kept quiet as he knew he touched Hakkai's sensitive spot. Suddenly he caught a picture at the opposite and ran towards it. "Look!! A picture of us Sanzo-ikkou together!!! On Harkuyuu's jeep!!!" shouted Goku excitedly, pointing his finger at the picture. "Another one's here!" 

Yaone did not follow to look at the Sanzo-ikkou pictures. Instead, she let herself studied the Kana's portrait. She heard little of Kana before. Goyjo told her once. Hakkai's older sister. _She's very beautiful._ she thought. Just like Hakkai. The lady on the picture was fair skinned, having a long plaited brown hair and sharp nose. Her blue-sky eyes seemed to give a sympathetic stare while her red luscious lips curved slightly up. _As if she was unhappy with her surrounding_, thought Yaone. She caught a glimpse of herself from the wall mirror, and gasped. She thought…no it can't be…she never realized…that her face image…and Kana…are the same. She looked at the mirror. And then at the picture. And the mirror. Then the picture. It's true. Except for the colour of the eyes and the hair, she and Kana looked almost the same. Her knees felt weak as she slowly absorbed the truth. Could it be the reason…that the reason Hakkai saved her, helped her many times was because …was because she looked like Kana? 

"Are you okay?" asked a suspicious voice, startling Yaone. Strong hands grabbed hold of her arm and waist, steadying her from falling. She looked up and saw Goyjo, narrowing his red eyes at her. 

She nodded her head. "Yes, I am," thanked Yaone, setting a smile to hide the unexplained ache in the heart. 

"Oi, Goyjo! Look here! Hakkai painted a picture of us fighting for food!" shouted Goku, as he beckoned the red-haired guy to come over. Hakkai turned and saw Goyjo half supporting Yaone. "Yaone-san, daijoubu?" he asked concerned. 

Goyjo grunted, "She's okay." He helped the purple-haired girl to the chair. "Oi saru, did he draw me with gorgeous girls?" he asked as he walked over to the younger boy to inspect the picture. Hakkai on the other hand was concerned and moved towards her. 

Yaone smiled forcefully to him. "I'm alright. It's just that I am hungry," she lied to him. 

"Sou ka. I'll whip up a meal for you," Hakkai told her cheerfully. 

End Chapter 2

Please ignore the grammar mistakes. I do. 

Read and **Review **for me please....I really want some reviews to see how my story really is going on. Arigatou *bows*. 


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki. I wish I could, then I know what I will do with the show....Sanzou-ikkou change to Hakkai-ikkou!!!! (*just joking*) 

Onward with the story.... 

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Chapter 3

She could not sleep. There were many things that bothered her mind. The camp, her new charge…she wondered whether she could make a good chaperon. She did not know whether the children's parents were willing to allow her to do so. She was a youkai after all and humans did not accept youkais easily. Cho Hakkai was different. He was a youkai returned as people's hero. Togenkyo's townfolks cheered for him when he and the other Sanzo-ikkous came back after defeating Gyumao's henchmen. Yaone followed him unwillingly, not because she was his captive, rather it's because she had nobody to depend on. Her immediate family moved away, thinking that she was dead. Lirin-sama's dead. And so were Kougaiji-sama and Dokugakuji. She was the only survivor. It was easy for Hakkai to start his work as a schoolteacher for Genjo Sanzo, an influential priest had recommended him. But it was not easy for Yaone to build a new life. No humans wanted to accept a youkai as their healer and they did not trust youkais completely to prescribe medicine to them. Youkais, though were able to live in Togenkyo, were in a small number. Working as a shopkeeper was the only option for her. She left the Sanzo-ikkou secretly a few months to a new town which had a larger populations of youkais, only to find that Hakkai and Goyjo moved there also. Goku stayed with Sanzo and visited Hakkai and Goyjo once a while. 

Yaone shifted uneasily on the bed. It's not because of the bed that she could not sleep properly. Maybe a little wine could help her to sleep. And what better ways to drink wine than to drink it on the roof and watch the nigh stars glittering at clear sky. Taking her bottle of wine, Yaone climbed up to the roof. There she sat down and sipped a small cup of wine. 

Yaone sighed at the thought of Cho Hakkai. She really could not describe him completely. A mysterious guy. Handsome one who always smiles. Often pretended to be clueless and dumb but proved to be a man of talents and skills, who knew what was going on and what he had to do. She had underestimated him many times, as a friend and as an enemy. She thought she left him without a clue, but he managed to track her. When she asked him why he was here in a new place, in a new town, he laughed dopily and told her that the authorities sent him here He told her that he wanted to teach youkai children. But drunkard Goyjo accidentaly told her that she was the main reason he moved here. And now, Yaone wondered what she often felt about the brunette schoolteacher. Did she feel the same feelings that she had towards Kougaiji-sama? Was it different? Yes, it was different. The feelings she had for Kougaiji-sama was different than the feelings she had for Hakkai. Yes, Kougaiji-sama once saved her from Hyakugan-Moh and took her as his pharmacist. Kougaiji-sama did not love her at the first sight. If he did, he would have easily added her as a member of his harem. And she respected him for his leadership and fighting skills, and stayed loyal to him because of his issue with his freezed mom. But she sometimes afraid to see him in his anger and loathed to see him, especially when she informed him bad news regarding the Sanzo-ikkou and his sister. 

Hakkai was so different than Kougaiji-sama. He was gentle, would not get angry and lose his temper easily. His kindness and politeness had made her unknowingly wanting to see him, even in fights. When she left him to search a new life, did she not think about him often? Was it love? To want to see that person again and again? To see him smile? But…she could not help removing the uncomfortable feelings that the 'love' she had for Hakkai might go unrequited. Especially when it involved Kana. Although Goyjo mentioned that Kana was his sister, she could not help but to suspect that there were something more to it than brother-sister relationship. Almost all the pictures painted by Hakkai were either pictures of the famous Sanzo-ikkou or Kana and him. None of her. 

_Yaone-chan, Yaone-chan, poor you_ thought Yaone grimly, as she gulped the whole cup of wine and then to pour another cup again.. 

"One shouldn't drink all the wine alone. Especially when the night sky is full of stars," came a clear man's voice. Yaone turned and looked down. The habitual smilling face appeared at the roof edge suddenly and his hand waved innocently at her, "I can smell wine from here." Hakkai must had come and checked on her. 

"I could share if you have your own cup," she said dryly. He climbed up carefully and handed her his cup. "Nice wine," he commented after sipping it. "It's monkey wine with something added in it, isn't it?" he asked after squating beside her. 

Yaone nodded. "It's monkey wine mixed with fermented scorpion poison," she explained. "Don't worry. It's not poisonous. It just numb the mind." 

Hakkai chuckled, "Your knowledge on poison is really useful, isn't it." 

A pregnant moment of silence settled between the two of them. Yaone sighed as she rested her chin on her palm, watching the stars. "My father once told me that each stars in the sky resemble a person on earth. When a star moved away or disappeared, it only meant that he left his friends or died." As she pointed to a lonely bright star, she said, "That's me there." Moving her finger slightly towards to another star, "And that's you, Hakkai-san." 

"Really?" Hakkai inquired politely, pretending to be interested, looking at the stars she had pointed. "What made you say that?" 

Yaone gave a bitter laugh. "That sole star used to have three stars always beside her. Now, they had moved away from her. Just like how Kougaiji-sama, Lirin-sama and Dokugakuji left me," she said before finishing her cup. "And your star is surrounded by four stars; Sanzo, Goku, Goyjo and Kana." 

He made a quiet revelation, "Kana's dead." 

Yaone was stunned. She looked upon his face long, searching for any signs of lies. She knew that he was capable of jokes. But not this time. The smile mask was no longer on his face. Instead, she could clearly see grief, pain and regret smoldering his face slowly. 

Slowly it dawned on her. "The pictures…you painted them because you missed her," she said slowly. 

He nodded slowly, "Yes, sometimes when I looked hard, I could see her image in front of me. That's why I draw them, to remember her." 

Her heart felt a tug of envy when she remembered images of those beautiful pictures and portraits of Kana. It was so carefully painted as if the artist had truly loved the object of his art. Yet Yaone chosed to push it aside, telling to herself that Kana was gone and that she need not worry about it anymore. _Worry that someone would take away Hakkai from her.___

"How did she died?" she slowly asked. She knew it was wrong for her to ask, yet she could not resist wanting to know what happened to that woman that it affected Hakkai so badly. 

"Hyakugan-Moh. My villagers sold her to Hyakugan-Moh as an appeasing sacrifice. She was raped before I could do anything to save her. When I got to her, she commited suicide in front of me," he said, voice breaking. His face twisted abnormally, like as if he was going to cry. 

She kept quiet. She could not tell him that she also was sold to Hyakugan-Moh by her father, except that time she narrowly escaped with the help of Kougaiji-sama. It would break his heart to know someone and not Kana managed to get freed from Hyakugan-Moh. Instead, she rubbed his back gently and offered to pour wine into his cup. 

He drank a few cups of wine before breaking down to cry. Taking pity on him, Yaone hugged Hakkai and rocked him with a soothing lullaby. Very soon his crying subsided as he slept a dreamless sleep on Yaone's bossom, courtesy of her drugged wine. 

After a while, Yaone laid Hakkai gently on the floor, cushioning his head on a pillow and covering him with the sleeping blanket that she took from the room. As she lied down on the bare floor, beside him and watched him sleep, she began to ponder about Kana, Hakkai's emotions and hers. Soon the drug also took effect on her as she slowly drifted to sleep. 

*TBC*   
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Pls ignore the grammar. I do.   
And don't forget to criticize my fic. Heck, I welcome flames, as I don't really like where this story is going to.   
  



	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Kazuya Minekura owns Saiyuki characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun purposes. 

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Chapter 4

She woke up startled. There was a loud noise downstairs at the house, and it sounded like someone breaking something and a fight broke out again between the two adolescents. 

"Waaaahhh! Haaakkaaaiii! Seeeee whaaat Goyjo had brought!" whined Goku loudly. 

"What's that to you, baka saru?" demanded Goyjo angrily. 

"That ug…not so pretty… little girl scared me," accused Goku in a loud voice. "If it wasn't the fact that you both red-headed appeared to me simultaneously, I wouldn't have freak out and drop the plates." 

"Why, you moron!!" shouted Goyjo, followed by several crashes of things. It was clear that Goyjo disliked to be reminded of the colour of his hair. 

Twack!, Twack! "Can't you two idiots SHUT UP!! I haven't had any quiet, resting moments since I arrived!!" thundered the almost familiar voice. _Sanzo-Houshi Sama._

Hakkai's soothing voice came to aid. "Now guys, there's no need to get angry on such a beautiful day. Beautiful day to start camping, eh?" he asked cheerfully. Nobody answered. It was clear that the others had a bad start of the day. "Where's the little girl gone to?" asked Hakkai suddenly. Murmuring voices echoed around the house as Goyjo, Hakkai and reluctant Goku proceeded to find the child. They had to search quietly less they trigger Sanzo to be gun-happy. 

Yaone groaned slightly as she got up from the place that she lied down. She noticed that the pillow and the blanket that was given to Hakkai before, was now with her. He must had woke up earlier and put it on her before going down to prepare. 

Silently Yaone climbed down the pipe and entered her room. After taking with her toiletries and a new set of clothes, Yaone made her way to the bathroom. She slipped into the bathtub nakedly and started to lather her body with soap. The warm water, the sweet smell body soap was making her feeling relaxed that she could close her eyes and enjoy. She could mentally shut off the noise that the Sanzo-ikkous were making, the anxious voice of Goyjo calling someone to come out, the yelling of Sanzo, asking them to lower down the noise. Yes…she could enjoy the warm bath and should enjoy it for she would spend the next five days in the jungle. 

At an instance, Yaone's purple-pinkish eyes opened wide. Someone, human or youkai was in the bathroom with her. Although her supressed youkai ability could not sniffed out that particular intruder, yet she could clearly hear it's movement. Yaone felt apprehensive, sweeping her eyes entirely around the bathroom. Suddenly the bathroom light went off, causing the whole room to be dark. Yaone got scared. Dark places made her feel vulnerable, and Yaone hated being left open for attack. Dashing out of the bathroom where there was light seemed to be a good option but she could not for she was naked and that there were four men outside. Instead, she sunk deeper into the bathtub, quietly groping around for her towel or cloth. Her fear for unannounced attack came true when suddenly someone grabbed her breast from her back, fondling it. She screamed loudly, jumping up from the bath tub, struggling to break free from perverted attacker.   


In the midst of finding the little girl in the living room, Hakkai suddenly heard a loud scream from upstair.. "Yaone!" shouted Hakkai as he realized who screamed. Goyjo and Goku quickly followed the green-eyed youkai as he sprinted towards the source of noise. 

Her mind went panic and scared as she relieved her memories of the past. Somebody was behind her, grabbing her neck tightly. Although she could still breath, the intimate closeness and the strange breast contact had caused her to cringe uncomfortably. Images of Ni Jyenii smirking at her helplessness came to her mind. Dizziness started to set in. _Get a grip of yourself, Yaone_, she thought herself, desperately. 

"Yaone! Yaone! What's happening inside?" shouted Hakkai worriedly, banging the door several times. 

"Maybe we should break the door open?" proposed Goyjo. 

"Hakkai! Please switch on the light!" cried Yaone horsely, willing herself to concentrate and not to faint. She must fight strong and overcome this situation. Somehow the person behind her was now not very heavy. With a slight maneuver, she twisted and turned and found that at the moment the light was switched on…she found a wet nine year old red-haired girl clinging on her. A taboo child, infused with human and youkai blood. She had a big, prominent scar on her forehead. The girl stared her back with her wide red eyes. "Momma," she whispered. 

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Author's Note: I feel bad that this fic doesn't get as much reviews compared to "Fallen Angel" Please, read and review. I need to know if there are anti or pro Hakkai/Yaone fans who really WANT YAONE TO BE WITH HAKKAI FINALLY in this fic or not. Remember...as you continue to read more chapters, I want you to tell me **whether should Yaone and Hakkai be together or not**. Because Kana's presence is going to be difficult to avoid. 

As for the "Fallen Angel" fic...I think I would take a break for almost a year for my studies. It was never my intention to write "Fallen Angel" at this time (my final trial period). To make it up, I have posted "Delusion Moment" fic on my birthday. It's about Yaone and Hakkai on their supposed 'wedding night' (be warned it's has lime part inside). I'll also continue to post the chapters of "Unforgotten And Unforgiven Past Memory" in my own sweet time. 

**Nikki** dear, I wish I could write Kou x Yaone pairing fics, but I really can't. It's not that I don't like Kougaiji, it's just that I felt Kougaiji wasn't treating Yaone as how a man would treat to a girlfriend. I felt Kougaiji as a cold, unexpressioned man, who wouldn't give a damn about Yaone's feelings, or even if he knew...he would keep a distance from Yaone, because she's innocent and pure. I prefer Hakkai x Yaone pairing, because Hakkai in the tv series openly care for Yaone (though we don't know the real reason; could it be because he's a caring person (which is not really true...we seen how merciless he deals with other enemies) or could it be because he found Yaone interesting like Kana, or his own character?) If I could have it my own way...Yaone would ran away from these two guys (Hakkai & Kougaiji) and set her own harem of husbands.   
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 5

Author's note: I'm still looking for people to tell me whether they still want Hakkai/Yaone or Hakkai/Kana. 

Disclaimer:  I honestly don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki. And the one who owned it has absolutely made a good job out of it, deriving the plots from classical novel 'Journey to the West' and twisting it a lot.

Onward with the story.... 

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"Now, look what you have done, Goyjo. You brought a small girl home, and you nearly cause Yaone-neechan to have a heart attack," complained Goku as he watched the little girl sitting quietly, munching pau, and drawing pictures using Hakkai's crayon. 

Goyjo scowled, "That little girl had a name, okay? It's Meia. Look, I had to. That girl was sleeping on the street when I walked by. She looked hungry and homeless. Probably abandoned or an orphan." 

Goku retorted, "You can't even take care of yourself. What makes you think you can take care of her. Maybe you like her, you Lolita-lover." 

"That's enough, Goku," cut in Hakkai, a little harshly. "I don't think it's your character to dislike anyone, particularly helpless little girls." 

"But Hakkai," began Goku protesting, "Goyjo might make a big mistake like how he did when he became friendly with Kinkaku. We might end up in big trouble… I just don't like her." He threw a sharp glare at the small girl who pretended to be unfazed by it. 

Goyjo snorted, "Who cares whether you like her or not? She doesn't even like you!" 

Yaone sat at the table, with her hot tea in front. Although her eyes fixed on the red headed girl, yet her mind seemed to wander somewhere else. Goyjo and Goku's petty quarrel and Hakkai's occasional interruption seemed to fade away as she recalled the past, someone familiar, doing the thing she likes most… 

_"Lirin-sama, it's time to take your bath."___

_"Yaone-neechan, look what I had drawn. Us beating up Sanzo-ikkou and getting the holy sutra! Big brother whacked Goku half dead and I get to be on top of Baldie Sanzo!!"___

_"What about Dokugakuji and me?"___

_"Doku got hurt very much but managed to punch ero-kappa flat on the nose. Next, the cook. He was defeated by Yaone-neechan and was punished to cook meatbuns for the rest of his life!"___

_"Very funny."___

_"Ne, Yaone-neechan. Do you have some more meatbuns? I need to eat while I'm drawing."___

_"No meatbuns until you bath first."___

_"But I want meatbuns, first! Please, Yaone-neechan"_

"Yaone!" finally a firm loud voice called her name, jerking her back to the present time. She looked up and saw Hakkai offering a plate of meatbuns to her. She smiled and politely declined. She looked at the girl again who stared at her back. There's something creepy in the little girl's eyes, thought Yaone, shivering a little. 

Hakkai felt a little worried for Yaone. The purple-haired girl sat there in a daze, with her tea untouched, staring long at Meia. Her face looked a little pale and tired, while her body, which not many noticed except him, trembled slightly. She must be sick, he thought worriedly. Who wouldn't be? Sleeping late at a cold roof, waking up early in the morning and got shook up by a scarred little girl in a dark bathroom. Hakkai knew of Yaone's little secret fear. She disliked dark rooms, especially when the room was small and crammed. Once, she asked his help to light up a small pitch dark underground storeroom, so that she could move the old things out. When the light suddenly went off in the midst of moving things, Yaone became panic and injured herself in her attempt to fumble her way out of the room fast. The brunette man did not dare ask her reasons for being afraid of dark small rooms. She did not tell him about her fear and pain. Instead, she focused on getting herself busy, operating a grocery shop, trying to forget her past life and building a new one. Sometimes she tried too hard. That was the reason Hakkai wanted her in the camp. To get her out of her shelled life. To relax and enjoy the simple pleasures with children and nature. And to stop keeping her problems all to herself and not be able to let out. He would be there for her to face and let go the past. Just like what she did last night on the roof. Holding him, comforting him over Kana's suicide death. 

"Yaone," he asked softly, touching her arm. The young woman turned towards him. "Do you still want to for the camping trip? You don't look well," he asked, feeling a little guilty. She shook her head in protest, "Iie, I feel alright. I just…remembered something… long ago." 

For a while, the monocle man scrutinized her, hoping for a further explaination. However it did not come as Goku interrupted his attention on Yaone, by calling his name. "Yes, Goku," he sighed, focusing his attention on the monkey boy. He would talk to her latter. 

"Are we going to allow her to stay here forever?" whined the golden-eyed boy, pointing at Meia the red haired girl who seemed to glare sharply at Goku. It looked as if she did not like the boy. 

Goyjo whacked his head and growled, "This is my house and Hakkai's. We have the right to decide who's stays and who's out. And right now, I say she stays. If you don't like it, the door is right there. Feel free to use it." 

"Why you!" gritted Goku angrily 

"Maa, maa. Don't get too worked up here," coaxed Hakkai, trying to break the negative tension that seemed to be broiled among the two. He really felt odd. It's granted that Goyjo and Goku always quarrel, but there never was a moment where Goku and Goyjo were really angry at each other. And he had never seen Goku being paranoid with strangers. He was always friendly with strangers before, trusting them completely. But now…he seemed to be sceptical, so like Sanzo. Hakkai wondered whether Sanzo's cynical aloofness had rubbed on Goku. "Goku, Meia is going to stay in this house," Hakkai told the boy, flashing a smile and another plate of meatbuns to placate him. Before the half-youkai could give a victorious smirk, he added firmly, "But it's going to be only for a while, until Goyjo finds a suitable permanent home for her to stay in." 

Goyjo was shocked and angry. "What??" He could not believe it. His best friend did not side him, and not only that, the most gentle, patient and generous man had refused to shelter a homeless girl. "She's a tabboo child, for god's sake!! Which couples would want to take her in? Not many orphanages accept tabboo children!" he shouted, venting his anger and frustrations. He knew the harsh reality that half-youkai children had to face. A social outcast for not being a true youkai or human, they are teased and left alone to survive. 

Despite Goyjo's angry outburst, the green-eyed man's smile remained unchanged. "That's why I'm asking Goku to help you find someone who would love and care her enough to raise her," he said with a twinkle on his left eye. 

His red eyes softened as he realized Hakkai's hidden motives. He grumbled incorrigible words and placed his arm on Goku's shoulder. "You're going to help me, monkey-wannabe, if you don't want the girl to stay long," said Goyjo, with a resigned sigh. The confused golden-eyed boy stared at two of his friends, first at the green-smilling eyes and then at the red-defeated eyes. Something was going on, except he could not detect it. "I guessed so," he agreed, half-heartedly. 

"Good," approved Hakkai as he saw the two were in good terms now. "To make things easier for you, I will take Meia to the camp," volunteered Hakkai happily. "So, in these five days, you would have to take care of Yaone's shop and look for a suitable guardian for Meia," instructed Hakkai strictly. Both Goyjo and Goku nodded and sighed when Hakkai lectured for half an hour about their house duties during his absence. Leaving them with Meia, Yaone could not help but giggled quietly. Hakkai really looked like a mother setting ground house rules on her children. 

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To be continued.... 


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